Russian Scientists working  on a new air cleaning  system for the international space station stumbled across a way to dive underwater virtually equipment free and to nearly any depth.

 

By adapting the new space station filters into a standard scuba mouthpiece and plumbing pipe, divers were able to breath air directly from the water they were diving in at depths reported to be in excess of 100 Meters.

Test subjects from the elite Russian Navy Dive Team were put through prolonged trials and found they were able to stay underwater for nearly 12 hours per charge with no ill effects or even decompression thanks to the filters amazing capabilities and duration.

Not only did it harvest oxygen from the water and scrub CO2 from the diver's exhaled breath, but nitrogen narcosis was non existent and nitrogen loading of the diver's tissue compartments were actually LESS than people on shore!



(Spetsnaz Dive team shown testing the new Spitnik - breathing device)

Even more stunning is the report that the cartridges can actually be made at home from common household chemicals and kitty litter (Recipes have already leaked out on the Internet.)

Good bye heavy and expensive scuba gear -

Hello to the SPITNIK!

Счастливый Апрель Околпачивает День

The last laugh may still go to the sharks...

Chinese scientists working on more ways to exploit ocean creatures were stunned to find that Sharkfin Soup actually causes long term health problems.

Test subjects who had ate sharkfin soup were found to have a rare form of Intestinal disease called Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam.

Chinese Government officials were quick to dismiss the study and have imprisoned the scientists responsible.

In a terse statement they  blamed the Dalai Lama for the "embarrassment" and that it was just another plot hatched by Tibetan separatists trying to cause troubles for the upcoming Beijing Olympics.

 

A leaked internal document is rocking the drug industry and Scuba divers.

Reports state the active ingrediant in the world famous blue medicine is nothing more than dehydrated and ground up zebra mussels that the company has been secretly harvesting from Great Lakes Shipwrecks.


While many were suprised, apparently this is nothing new to the DIR dive crowd who have made a practice of  eating the mussels during their dive excursions and claim that they "feel pumped up and more in touch with their dive team members - But don't tell all those strokes out there or they will just copy us"

 

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